It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
