Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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