You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
