Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
