There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
