I want to make a zoo with you.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
