For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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