oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
