3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
