I skipped work to stalk him.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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