is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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