Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.