you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha