haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good