I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
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Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
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Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?