I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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