whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
