you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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