I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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