FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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