And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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