At least make sure they are 18
Why
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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