shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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