How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
