Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
