yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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