Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
