Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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