I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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