so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
