why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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