that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
