Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
