you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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