I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
