Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
