Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
