You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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