I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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