So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
