He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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