it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
