I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
