he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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