i barfeds in our rink
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
