I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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