I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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