I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
