I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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