i permit you to call me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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