after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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