we made out on top of his cat.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
