I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
