She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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