why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
