Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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