just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
