Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
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You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
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I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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