Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
