what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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