Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize